Learning Jiu-Jitsu is a never-ending process. No matter how much a person thinks they know about BJJ, there is always something more to be learned. While in many aspects of life, such an insurmountable activity would feel daunting and not worth even starting; Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu can give us the opposite effect, if we let it.

As an educator, I spent years in professional development meetings in which administrators would talk about the need to develop lifelong learning into our students. However, true lifelong learning comes from genuine interest and curiosity. For those of us who develop a sense of interest or excitement for BJJ, the desire to be a lifelong learner comes quite naturally.

Any Jiu-Jitsu practitioner who remembers - or is just starting out - knows that starting a grappling sport can feel like unlocking a secret. Learning an entirely new way to use your body, along with each new skill and technique feels exciting, and confidence rises. It’s easy to stay interested in the beginning. 

But time passes, our bodies change, and our knowledge-base expands. All of these things can cause us to lose excitement for Jiu-Jitsu. The reason we lose interest or desire is simple: we haven’t yet adjusted our expectations to reflect our new circumstances.

For example, I used to weigh well over 300 lbs. I trained often, and I competed very well. When I experienced dramatic weight-loss, Jiu-Jitsu changed for me. I wasn’t able to hold people down as easily. I have a neck that can be choked now. Some of the techniques I used to use are simply no longer as effective without my former size behind them. As my weight decreased, so did my overall strength. And all of that was really frustrating for me. 

The truth is, it would be really easy to see how much harder everything was and see those new challenges as off-putting. However, in many ways it has been exciting to see what my new body is capable of. I’ve been able to learn new ways to move, I’ve picked up new techniques, and I am adjusting to my new way of doing things.

Another couple of examples would be age and injuries. As I near 40, my ability to recover from tough Jiu-Jitsu training has dropped significantly. Aches and pains can keep me awake at night, robbing me of sleep, and further compounding my inability to recover well; especially in the cold Indiana winters. Injuries also limit what I can and can’t do while rolling or training, leaving me unable to perform as well as I feel I should.

I would be lying if I claimed that these things didn’t bother me at all. There are times in which I still become frustrated about my perceived lack of abilities. I believe this occurs because my expectations are, at times, unrealistic. I am simply incapable of training as though I were still in my mid-twenties and injury free. The library of techniques in my brain has expanded while the capabilities of my body have diminished.

Simply put, age catches us all. 

So how do we continue to love learning Jiu-Jitsu even when our bodies aren’t going to allow us to be as involved and capable as we want? Radical self-acceptance and consistency. Recognizing that we are not going to operate at the same physical levels as our younger counterparts and accepting that our initial physical gifts are temporary is the first step. While it’s very easy to write that sentence, it is infinitely more difficult to actually accept. However, we cannot make the needed adjustments to our training until we embrace these changes. And continuing to show up and put in the work is going to help us develop better habits and new skills.

We have to adjust and adapt our training and expectations of our training. Just like the adjustments I made when I lost weight, I am also making adjustments according to my deficiencies (injuries, slow recovery). And it changes my game when I roll. I’ve developed much safer habits and have been able to find more holes in my game that I previously didn’t recognize.

Show up, adjust your expectations to be realistic, and find your new strengths.