For the last few months, I have been discussing having surgery. Everyone has assumed it was for my spine, which is in fact, a huge mess that hinders me. But to say that I had surgery for my back is only half of the truth. I haven’t exactly been honest about what I’m having done, which is bariatric surgery.

The truth of the matter is that I have always been a little embarrassed to tell people that I was having bariatric surgery. A doctor recommended it for me back in 2015 and I scoffed at him. To me, it was a procedure done by lazy people who couldn’t get themselves under control. Knowing the stigma surrounding this surgery, because I used to hold the same beliefs, has kept me from saying anything.

But no more. I’m not going to live my life being afraid of the judgement of others. As Tarriona “Tank” Ball of the musical group Tank and the Bangas said, “Don’t mistake self-reflection for how others see you”.  Fear of the thoughts and opinions of others should not be something that holds us back.

Of course, this is easier said than done, but it’s important nonetheless. I have tried to be an athlete while being obese and it has taken a major toll on my body. My back is made up of nightmares and my shoulders are those of zombies. My knees hurt and my energy levels tend to stay pretty low. And that’s not how I want to live my life.

Growing up, obesity was very common in my family. I would spend two weeks every summer at my grandparents’ home in Tennessee. I have no memories of them doing anything besides sitting in their recliners, watching TV, and drinking Mountain Dew. They weren’t active. They left us to our own devices to find entertainment. It was… boring. Unfortunately, there are other members of my family who are also this way today and I want my children to be able to interact with me in a way that I can be actively involved instead of passively sitting in a recliner trying to convince people that I used to be halfway decent at a sport.

If I had kept going the way I was going, this would absolutely happen. I would be stuck to a sofa while my kids and grandkids ran around trying to make their own fun. I don’t want them to look back and feel sad or sorry about what their dad used to be like.

So yes, while a bariatric surgery will benefit my injuries by making me lighter and untilmately putting less pressure on everything, I am also doing this for my quality of life, and the quality of time I can spend with my family.